Beauty and the Tryst
"Beauty and the Tryst" is the 15th episode of Devious Butlers. Summary Selena makes it zer mission to prove to Josh just how privileged he really is, while Joe feels anything but privileged to have Joanna discover that he's now out of jail, and the mix of emotions could have the two of them reliving their tale as old as time. Sex is on the table for all, as Eli's offer to help Rena further his YouTube career is followed up by the latter and Liz accidentally broadcasting something more than a little incriminating. Also, Ben sees Valentina's day off as an opportunity to make things right with Ali, who remains upset with him after a disastrous Thanksgiving; Ali, though, seems to be having none of it, and he begins to fear that their friendship may be more than just chipped. Plot 'Teaser' The light of a computer screen shines onto Josh's bemused face as he ticks certain boxes on BuzzFeed's "How Privileged Are You?" quiz in Selena's sitting room. As he legitimately begins to contemplate any and all discrimination he's faced within his life, the camera pans around his head. We are taken into the past where Josh, kitted out in rainbow attire after a local Pride festival, that he isn't allowed into the nightclub he's queuing up outside of, for according to the bouncer there are already enough of his sort inside. We whip round him again and come out at the Winters' mansion, where he's being led inside by Joanna Winters to be interviewed by she and her husband. "You atheist?" she asks, surprising Josh somewhat. "Yes?" he replies, and she tells him, "Ooh. Matthew ain't gonna like that." One more time and we see Josh during his time in prison for Matthew's murder, being approached by a menacing group of black inmates. "Yo white boy!" yells the leader, "You want some cheese with that cracker ass?" Josh just appears abashed. Back in the present, Josh clicks the "Check my privilege" button at the end of the quiz, and Selena, who's towering over him, is excited to hear how much he got. "Thirty-eight out of a hundred 'privilege points'," Josh tells her. "No..." Selena utters, and so Josh begins to read aloud, "'You're not privileged at all. You grew up with an intersection--'" "I know what it says!" Selena exclaims, taking a seat next to him on the couch and snatching away the laptop, "It's the same paragraph I got. There must be some sort of mistake. You must have made a mistake." She scrolls to the top so that she can descend through Josh's answers, in spite of him assuring that he ticked all the applicable boxes, and there were only thirty-eight of them, just like the result says. "What about this one?" Selena points, "'I have never been discriminated against because of my skin color.'" "I was in prison," Josh reminds her. "And this one?" she questions, "'I have never been the only person of my race in a room.'" "I was in prison," Josh reminds her. "'I have never been called a racial slur.'" "Prison," Josh emphasizes a third time, "unless 'Milky Way boy' is a pleasant greeting where you're from," and Selena sighs, continuing to scroll. "What about making more money that your professional counterparts of a different gender?" she inquires, only for Josh to remind her that, thanks to her, he makes less. "And you've been catcalled?" "Yes," Josh states, "again, by you." "Damn," Selena utters, "well, at least I know I've helped deplete your privilege some of the way." "Look at that result, Selena," Josh advises, "there's no privilege to deplete." "But you're a white male," Selena states, so matter-of-factly, but Josh is forced to break it to her that that's irrelevant. "No, it's not. Society treats you different," Selena barks, exiting the BuzzFeed page and putting the laptop to one side so that she can get to her feet, "I can't believe BuzzFeed is actually wrong." "I can," Josh tells her, "but I'm still no more privileged than you are." "Fine," his boss then hisses, "you really think you don't have it easy thanks to your race and sex?" "Both those things have been attacked, along with my religious views and my--" "Waaa! So oppressed!" Selena exclaims in a mock-baby tone, then telling him, "You know what, Josh? You can take tomorrow night off." "I can?" Josh asks, confused, and Selena smiles deviously as she says, "Yes. With me." "What?" Josh's face goes slack. "You and I are gonna hit the town," the tranny goes on, "and I am gonna show you just how privileged you really are." Josh appears less than thrilled by the prospect. DEVIOUS BUTLERS 'Act I' It's a new morning on Fanon Drive, and Joanna Winters exits her mansion in a skimpy night robe and wine bottle in tow as she goes to check the mail. She opens up the little box where she grabs a handful of envelopes, flipping through, chugging some wine each time she sees a bill and dropping whatever had been redirected over for Wilma in the trash. She prepares to head back inside, but not before looking up... and across the street, where she sees Joe up and doing yard work for the Littles. "You've got to be kidding me..." Joanna exclaims, somewhat quietly, this being the first she's heard of Joe getting out of prison. However, despite how quiet Mrs. Winters thought she was being, it was still loud enough to gain Joe's attention, and he looks up at her. The two make eye contact, both freezing in place for a moment before Jo snaps out of it and quickly turns around to walk back inside her home. From across the street, meanwhile, Joe throws down a rake he was using to get rid of fallen leafs. He storms back inside of the Littles' house, heading to the kitchen to whip himself up some coffee as an excuse for not being outside. As he goes to the pot, however, Rochelle wheels herself in, dressed in a pair of hot pink pajamas, hair up in curls, and a green face mask on. The room had been quiet up until this point, and so Rochelle's screaming of "What the damn hell?!" startles Joe quite immensely... and even more when he turns around and takes in the sight of his elderly boss. Rochelle doesn't back off, demanding to know why Joe is not outside clearing the yard. "It's cold and I need a break," he tells her, rather annoyed, but she's quick to point out that that didn't stop her ancestors when working out in the cotton fields. "And that was in the ol' south in the summa' time, boy," she says. "Now grow a pair. Imma go watch me The View and have summa dat watermelon we got saved." She wheels herself over to the refrigerator where she pulls out half a watermelon with a fork sticking out of it. "Isn't that not even in season right now?" Joe asks of her, only to be told, "Get off my dick," by the elderly woman who wheels away. Joe rolls his eyes, mumbling, "Dear God, save me now before I put a bullet in that bitch's head..." ...Across town, meanwhile, in a local gun store, a man can be seen at register where he is packing up a brand new rifle for a customer to buy. "I'm just gonna need to see some ID," he says to the customer, who proceeds to hand over their card. "Dylan Roads," he exclaims, holding it up to compare the pictures. The camera pans in a circle to reveal that this is in fact Silvia. "Well you seem good to go," the store employee says, handing the packaged gun over. "Thank you," Silvia says with an evil grin. With a sigh, Eli removes the bug he planted under the handle of the coffee pot in his kitchen, proceeding to crush it in his palm and throw it down the drain, turning on the garbage disposal as he deems it useless. Rena then enters the kitchen, seeing his employer with the pot, and asks if he'd like him to make him some coffee, but Eli tells him, "No thank you, Rena. That won't be necessary." "Oh," Rena responds, "well if you want me to whip anything up, I can..." "Actually," Eli interrupts, "it's me who wanted to give something to you." Rena appears a little taken aback by this, having already been sexually propositioned by one of his bosses, but then Eli follows up his declaration with the words: "An apology." "An apology?" the Portuguese butler questions, and Eli goes to admit, "To be honest, over these last few months, I'd gotten it into my head that you and Liz were... well, having relations. Behind my back." Rena pretends to act shocked, exclaiming, "You thought I was sleeping with your wife?!" and Eli shamefully adds, "Indeed..." "A-and now?" Rena inquires. "Well, after Thanksgiving," Eli goes on, "I was forced to accept that it simply wasn't true. The lie detector doesn't lie, after all." "Not without detecting itself," Rena nods, and Eli smiles. The butler then says, "So... that's all you wanted to apologize for? For suspecting... something?" "Kathryn's Tweet did send me a little crazy," Eli explains, "I thought there could be no other reason for my wife begging her friend to champion the help. But no, that's not all I want to apologize for. See, I took these suspicions and ran with them, and along the way I sort of... sabotaged all the auditions that stemmed from that Tweet. And for that... I am so sorry." Rena just stares at him blankly, trying to think of a way to convey this as though this is brand new information, and he ends up just blurting, "Hm." "I'd like to make it up to you, though." "You would?" "Of course," Eli assures. Rena then asks him if he can get him his auditions back, but Eli responds negatively, saying he's used up most of his favors in the business casting him out already. "But," he adds, "you're starting a YouTube channel, right?" "I've posted a few vids, yeah. It's not much." "Well what if I made it much?" Eli suggests, "I could appear in one of your 'vids', bolster your views, help get you famous quicker. A big movie star like me could do you wonders, and then maybe you'd be spotted by someone of worth." "You'd do that?" Rena asks, actually a little touched considering he is indeed engaging in naughtiness with this man's wife, and Eli responds, "Of course. Though, I will have to watch the videos you've already made, just to be sure that it's suitable content to associate myself with." "Right, sure," Rena nods, understanding, and Eli says that he'll get round to that later while Rena says he has a livestream to go set up for, and so the two of them shake hands as a sign of amends and go about the rest of their mornings. Down the street, meanwhile, Ben works in the kitchen of the Del Barrio mansion. He's seen whipping together a nice tray of breakfast for Ali, hoping to be able to make amends with her while Val is out enjoying her day off. On the tray he has a plate of waffles covered in strawberries, a side of bacon, and a glass of orange juice. To top it off, he adds a rose that he went out to buy from the local store in the early hours of the morning. Examining the tray, he smiles, content with the placing of everything, and from there he picks it up and proceeds to head upstairs. However, before he even has a chance to leave the kitchen, Ali comes walking in, still dressed in her night gown. "Oh, hey," Ben greets, holding the tray, "I was just about to--" but Ali tells him it's unnecessary. "I'm just gonna make a pot of coffee," she tells her butler, not really giving him much of a look. "Oh... well I made breakf--" "Again, the coffee's fine," Ms. Del Barrio assures. Ben nods, rather awkwardly, placing the breakfast tray down on the table, depressed to see that he went to all the trouble for nothing. However, he decides to go fetch the pot to brew the coffee, but Ali tells him that it won't be necessary and that she can do it herself. "You sure?" Ben wonders, stating that it is his job to do these kinds of things. "Please just go," she says, rather bluntly, "I really can't be bothered right now to walk around awkwardly, us both failing to acknowledge that I'm pretty pissed off with you right now and you're trying to kiss up to me to make it all better." Ben is pretty taken aback by this, but nods, doing as his boss tells him. He tells her that if she needs anything then to just let him know, and with that he proceeds to leave. Ali decides to not face the butler as he exits the room, instead just looking at the empty wall, subtly putting her hand on her belly. "I still don't really get why we're here," Josh says as he and Selena browse a clothing store on the Wikerly Promenade, and she explains, "I wanna get a new outfit for tonight; something that will allow me to blend in and observe your privilege up close and personal. After all, we don't want points taken off just because you're feeding off my background oppression." "Do you even understand your own sentences?" Josh wonders, to which Selena replies, "Of course. And I don't need a man questioning me, thank you very much. Us social justice warriors get enough of that already." "See, you keep saying 'social justice warrior' in reference to yourself but, like, that's an insult," Josh informs her, "designed to mock people who are your way inclined." "Pfft," Selena scoffs, "so I'm taking back a word. African Americans did it with n--" "Oh my God you of all people can not be about to say that word!" Josh exclaims, shushing her in the middle of the evening wear section, but she exclaims, "Don't assume my race! I can say what I want!" "Jesus Christ..." Josh breathes. "Don't say that," Selena advises, and the butler rolls his eyes. "What about this for tonight?" Josh suggests, selecting a random cocktail dress from the shelf to show it to her. "Too revealing," Selena responds, "womyn's clothing shouldn't be made with the male gaze in view like that. They should be made for her. Or zer. But not him." "Okay..." Josh says, "what about this one?" The one he grabs now is far more conservative, going down past the knees with long sleeves and buttons all the way up to the neck, but Selena replies, "That reminds me too much of a burka. Besides, a woman shouldn't feel the need to cover every inch of herself just for fear of raising a man's expectations. It's the man's job to control that." Josh just blinks, staring at her, to which she says, "Yes?" and he sighs. "Are you getting exasperated with me?" she asks. "Yes, I am," he replies bluntly, and she points out, "And you say I'm not more oppressed than you. People from the T end of the spectrum all the way up to beyond the K have to deal with people being unexpectedly annoyed at them, because it's in the hegemony's nature to chastise all that which is different from them, even if they don't notice it. Your mouth says you're not privileged, but your micro-expressions tell a whole other tale." "This isn't a micro-expression, it's an overt one. You are exasperating, you nut," Josh grumbles, at which Selena requests that he please not use any language referring to male genitalia while in her presence for it may trigger a PTSD flashback. "Don't you mean PTSDQIAPK?" Josh asks, amused with himself, to which Selena says, "Cute. You tried." Josh sighs again, and Selena adds, "Another micro-expression for the list." "If you find people treat you different," Josh starts, "it's because you choose to look and act different. You obviously work so hard to set yourself apart, to the point that you have to go shopping just to try and 'blend in', yet take offense when what you're going for actually works?" "I think that's enough backchat for one day," Selena dismisses, not really having listened. "I need the bathroom," she then announces, exiting the dress section to find the nearby lavatories. Josh watches as she approaches the ladies' room, only for a security guard to come up to her and tell her that she can't go in. "Excuse me?" she responds, and Josh furrows his brow as he continues to observe. The guard talks quietly to her, and she is then heard emitting a piercing scream which captures the attention of everyone around them. She then storms, back to Josh, her eyes covered in tears, and exclaims, "Come on! We're leaving!" "Selena..." Josh utters, actually feeling a little bad for her denied entry, only for her to screech, "I SAID WE'RE LEAVING! AND DON'T THINK I'M NOT GONNA WRITE A SCATHING BLOG POST ABOUT THIS PLACE, BECAUSE I AM! HASHTAG TRANSPHOBIA!" She continues to go screaming out the store, and Josh just covers his face as he follows, embarrassed. 'Act II' Return to the Del Barrio mansion where Ben is seen up on a ladder, dusting the chandelier in the foyer. Ali, meanwhile, makes her way down one of the grand staircases, dressed and ready to go out. She refuses to make eye contact with the butler all the while, but he sees her, and decides to advance. "You need a ride?" he asks her, seeing that she's about to go out, but she ignores him, standing by the door and looking out the window. "Just let me get my coat, and we can go," Ben assures, quickly climbing down the ladder. Ali rolls her eyes though, and finally decides to address her butler, telling him that it won't be necessary. "Joanna is picking me up," she reveals. "And does Mrs. Winters even have a valid license?" "Why wouldn't she?" "Well she's not exactly been sober in the last decade..." Ali is insulted by this and demands that Ben leave her alone, stating that Jo will be there any minute and she doesn't need him hounding her. Ben sighs, deciding to climb back up the ladder and resume dusting the chandelier, thus leaving an awkward silence. Ali takes her phone out of her purse, checking the time, looking around as she waits for her ride, and Ben continues to brush away dust. However, while this goes on for a bit, the butler finally breaks the silence: "I'm sorry, you know," he says to his boss, "I just saw how well you were getting along with Val and got jealous... I thought it should've been me comforting you and making you feel better." Ali then turns, glaring up at Ben. She approaches him some, staring him directly in the eyes. "No," she says, "you were being selfish. You were taking this horrific event in my life and trying to make yourself look good. You didn't care about me in that moment; you just cared about yourself. You're not going to stand here right now and try to make me feel sorry for you? Because I don't." Ben takes all of this in, but before he's given the chance to respond, the sound of a car is heard screeching to a halt from outside, as well as a crash. Ben looks out the window, horrified, and Ali turns too, but tries to mask her fear. The car outside honks, the driver rolling down the window, revealing none other than Joanna, one hand on the wheel and one hand grasping a bottle. "C'mon, Ali. Let's go!" she calls out, completely ignoring the tree she just ran into. Ben turns to Ali, seeing this, and she takes in a deep breath. "Now if you'll excuse me, my ride is here," she says to the butler. She turns to go, despite Ben calling for her to hear him out. Ms. Del Barrio fully exits the mansion, and Ben witnesses through the window as she gets into the passenger's seat of Joanna's car, and Mrs. Winters drunkenly speeds off, ignoring the large dent in the front of her vehicle. "And that is the last of the questions I'm gonna answer for today, a huge thank you to all those who submitted," Rena says to his webcam during his YouTube livestream, then putting away a notepad filled with Qs for a Q&A that of course he himself wrote out. He proceeds to press a button on his laptop to end the stream and minimizes the page, at which point Liz enters the bedroom. "You still busy?" she asks, dressed in a night robe. "Not anymore, I guess," Rena replies, and Liz smiles and says, "Good. So I guess you heard the good news." "Good news?" Rena questions. "That Eli no longer suspects anything. In fact, he's even gone as far as to leave the house. Which means you and I..." She proceeds to one-handedly untie the belt of her robe, removing it to reveal a leather corset clinging to her body underneath. Rena's eyes twinkle as this is unveiled, and they full on sparkle as she takes her other hand out from behind her back and reveals herself to be holding a horsewhip. "Please," Rena says excitedly. "Not yet," Liz smiles, her face then turning cold as she demands, "worship me, worm." Rena then hops off the bed and down to his knees, praying at Liz's feet; when he looks up at her, she smacks him across the face with the horsewhip, which he of course relishes. "How long do we have?" Rena asks, and Liz tells him, "Eli's having his hair done. That natural afro of his takes forever to settle. So we have as long," she shoves the horsewhip into his mouth, "as we," further, down his throat, "need." Her eyes reflect his sparkle as he gags. "Sim! Sim, Mistress! Sim!" Rena is next heard exclaiming, barely dressed as Mistress Elizabeth pulls back his boxers a little to continue spanking with her weapon. She really goes for it this time, and Rena squawks, to her immense joy. And then we see Liz straddling Rena, the horsewhip abandoned, her hands now tightly grasped around his throat. As he struggles to breathe, loving every second of it, her eyes roll around in the back of her head and she screams, then breathing heavily and getting off of him after having accomplished all that she needed. Rena is breathing heavily too, beginning to redress himself while Liz reapplies her robe, telling the butler that that was very good for an impromptu session. However, he isn't looking at her - he's too busy looking at the laptop. "Look at me when I address you, worm," she barks, only for him to shush her. She is offended, but he soon lets her know that he's serious, and so she asks what's wrong. "The camera," Rena utters in horror, moving to his laptop and reopening his webpage, coming to realize that he never actually successfully shut off the livestream. And so... that entire session now exists on the internet. "Oh, my God," Liz cries, "well, delete it!" "I'm trying," Rena assures, picking up his laptop to move back over to the bed, "just a--" And then he trips over the horsewhip which is still lying on the floor, meaning his laptop goes flying and promptly smashes as it hits the Davises' hardwood tile. "NÃÃÃÃOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rena screams, and Liz feels like joining him, their S&M tape now existent on YouTube. Across town, meanwhile, Ali and Jo are sat in the Wikerly Hills Spa, hair up, in robes, receiving pedicures. Champagne glasses have been provided, but of course Joanna brought her own bottle''s'' from home. The two girls receive pedicures from a couple of ethnic, non-English speaking women, thus allowing the two rich bitches to chat about what they please. Ali has just finished up telling Joanna about her current situation: her newly discovered pregnancy, and Ben and Val taking advantage of it. "Val has had the decency to go and spend her day off by keeping out of my way, giving me a chance to cool down, but Ben... he won't stop pestering me. He keeps telling me he's sorry, and while I'm sure he is to some extent, it doesn't excuse the fact that he still did what he did." "Well do you plan to stay upset with him forever?" Joanna wonders, taking a sip from one of her bottles, and Ali simply shrugs, admitting to having not really thought much about it. "But right now I can't even stand to look at him." Jo nods, contemplating this some, but then says, "I think you should hear him out." Ali is confused as to why her friend would be defending her butler of all people, but Jo explains that she can see where Ben is coming from. "I'm kind of in the same situation as him right now," she admits, "I screwed up with someone I really care about and, well, unlike your butler, I don't even have the courage to face them right now." "But he--" "I know. What he did was wrong, yes, but I'm sure he still cares deeply for you. You've said that he was one of the only people really there for you when you were trapped with Jorgio, no?" "Well, yeah..." "So doesn't that mean something? He screwed up, yes, but you also have to remember that he's only human. People make mistakes." Ali is now finally starting to acknowledge this, seeing past this one poor choice on Ben's part and looking at the bigger picture. "I guess you're right," Ms. Del Barrio admits, and Jo smiles, stating that she knows she is. She then reaches over and grabs a fresh bottle of wine, which she manages to pop the top off of with her surprisingly strong thumb. She begins to chug some as Ali reconsiders her treatment of Ben, but as the blonde comes to terms and decides she's going to forgive her butler, she begins to wonder about Joanna's own situation. "Jo," she says to her friend, getting Mrs. Winters' attention, who has chugged about half a wine bottle in the last twenty seconds, "The person you screwed up with... I think you should face them." Joanna puts her wine bottle down, listening to what Ali says. "Ben could've said nothing to me, which is what I thought I wanted... but I'm glad he's trying with me. It might do you some good too." Joanna contemplates this. We are taken across town to a bar in the early evening that Josh and Selena are seen standing outside of. "It's called 'The Q+'," Selena reveals. "Where's the sign?" Josh asks, pondering this, and Selena tells him, "Oh, it doesn't have any labels. Come on." He follows her inside. The two of them are next seen sitting inside the bar, which is very colorful, filled with the kind of characters one would expect from the more eccentric side of the LGBTQIAPK community. "I don't understand," Josh while at the bar with his employer, "I thought you wanted to prove how privileged I am, so why take me to a place where all the people are... like you?" "Because," Selena explains, "I wanted to prove to you that oppression is prevalent in even the most unlikely of places." "Yet earlier you wanted a dress to blend in," Josh recalls, though Selena has decided to go with a slightly dressier version of her normal attire (pleather instead of denim). He then adds, "Your logic seems flawed and ever-changing." "Blah, blah, blah," Selena gargles, sipping her glass of water while Josh enjoys a beer - a pink beer, for that's all this place serves. "Josh," Selena starts, "I almost didn't go ahead with taking you out tonight, because I figured that little debacle earlier was enough to prove how much better you have it than I. I mean, you would never be denied access to whatever bathroom you wanna use. That's exactly the kind of privilege that white males like you take for granted." "Selena," Josh responds, "what happened in that store today was wrong, but so was the way you handled it. When you're faced with a problem - with a legitimate problem - then yelling and screaming and throwing a tantrum like a child isn't going to solve anything. Only make it worse and make the person you're arguing with come off looking better, because at least they aren't acting six. You know?" Selena blinks at him and Josh sighs. "Micro-expre--" "Oh I know, I know," he dismisses, "just... prove to me that I'm privileged already. What is it you were planning on showing me?" "Well just think of the interactions you've had with everyone tonight. The bar staff. Were they not more polite to you than they were to me?" "Not really," Josh replies, "I mean, this is the first place we've been to that you actually seem to blend in, so..." "Cis males have it easier," Selena exclaims, "they just do. That's why places like this need to exist. Safe spaces. As though such a concept is real. Nowhere is safe." "Earth isn't a war ground," Josh tries. "Yes it is!" Selena bites back, "That's why it needs warriors, like me!" "I told you, the whole 'warrior' thing is meant--" "Stop mansplaining," Selena begs. "Selena!" Josh cries, "Why... is this so important to you? If you think I'm so tainted from all my privilege then why don't you just... fire me?" After a pause and a deep breath, Selena brings herself to state, "Proving you wrong is more important. If I can fix just one of you... then maybe the world will be a little less awful." "The world is only as awful as you make it out to be," Josh reasons. "You're all about self-identification, yeah?" he goes on, "About punching back and seeing yourself in your own image? Well do the same with your surroundings. Punch back and see things differently; don't look for oppression around every corner and just... enjoy what's there." "And what will I find?" Selena questions, "Men spreading their legs on the subway, Trump supporters rioting through the streets, rape culture everywhere." That said, she turns to her glass of water and places a napkin over it to make sure she doesn't get roofied, while Josh just flinches. "Look," he goes on with the debate, "this back-and-forth we got going is actually healthy. It's called a discourse and--" "Hey, hey!" says a man with bright pink hair as he sits next to Josh. "Hey," Josh says unenthusiastically before turning right back round to Selena. "Look," he says again to her, and then, "Heeeeeeey!" as a white guy with dreadlocks sits next to his employer, who can barely even bring herself to acknowledge his existence. "I'm the artist formerly known as Mark," says the pink-haired one, while dreadlocks adds, "And I'm Kevin, formerly known as the artist formerly known as Gideon formerly known as Kevin." "Blimey," Josh breathes. "What's that, cutie?" Mark asks him, and Josh tells him, "Guys, we were actually in the middle of discussing something, so if you could just... go?" "Oh, but we were about to order," Kevin explains. "Though we got what we want," Mark jokes. "Yeah," Kevin nods, and then they both lean in on their respective targets, exclaiming, "Hottie sandwich." "Holy Anita," Selena coughs, almost spilling her water, and Josh tells them, "Please go." "But we don't even know you guys yet," says Kevin. "Yeah, come on, let us buy you a drink at least," Mark smiles, a little eerily, and Josh irritably hisses, "Bloody pansexuals." Joanna is now back home, having returned from her time at the spa. She stands at one of her front windows, looking out and across the street to where the Littles' house stands. She has a wine glass in her hand which she takes a sip from, contemplating her next move, and finally she works up the courage to open up her front door and exit her home, making her way across Fanon Drive. Wine glass still in tow, she has a sip every couple of seconds as she makes the walk into the Littles' driveway and to their door-ramp (for Rochelle). Having arrived, she goes to ring the doorbell, though a bit hesitant at first. She waits for a moment, and soon enough Aliza Little comes to. "Can I help you?!" she asks in a loud tone, making Mrs. Winters a bit uncomfortable, but Joanna manages to ask if Joe is around. Aliza opens the door further, allowing Joanna in. "Joe," she calls out, "some white bitch is here to see you!" Aliza proceeds to walk away, leaving Joanna alone, awkwardly. She goes to drink from her glass but sees that it's now empty, and so she rests it on a center table next to a potted plant. Someone is heard coming though, and Jo readies herself to see her former lover... only for it to turn out to be Rochelle instead. Wheeling on in, Rochelle asks what Mrs. Winters is doing in her home, but accidentally rides her chair into the table. "God dammit," she exclaims, as Joanna's wine glass falls off, a piece of glass breaking. Rochelle starts to mumble some foul language as she goes to lean down to pick up the wine glass, but Joanna gets it for her. "It's fine," she lies. "It's just chipped." She picks up the piece of glass that broke off, trying to put it back in place. Rochelle furrows her eyebrow at this, proceeding to say, "Well that's a load of bull." She once again asks what Jo is doing there, and upon learning she's there to see the butler, Rochelle, like Aliza, screams for Joe. Hearing that Joe is finally on his way, Rochelle starts to wheel off. Ms. Little and the butler pass one another though, and Rochelle orders Joe to take the damaged wine glass from their guest. Joe is confused by this at first, only to look up and see that standing before him is none other than Joanna. The butler is not the slightest bit happy to see his former lover, but still following his boss' orders, he picks up one of the small waste-bins and carries it over, holding it out for Joanna to drop the wine glass in. Once she does so, Joe puts the bin down, now standing face-to-face with Jo. There's a moment of silence between the two as Joanna is working on coming up with what she wishes to say. "I'm sorry," she finally manages to spit out. "You're sorry?" "Well--" "What are you sorry for, Joanna?" Joe asks, going from zero to a hundred real quick, "Are you sorry for murdering your husband? Are you sorry for framing Josh for murdering your husband? Are you sorry for framing ME for murdering your husband?" "Joe, I know what happened was wrong, but--" "I spent the past three months of my life rotting away in prison because of you! And when I finally got free, the WHPD wouldn't even rehire me because it would be too much of a scandal... because of you." "So I made a mistake! But I couldn't risk what you could have potentially done to me!" "You SHOULD be in prison right now. You SHOULD be rotting away for the rest of your life right now. Joanna, you're a monster." "Maybe if you'd just give me a chance to explain the full story." "What difference would that make?! You're an awful woman who has done awful things." "Joe!" "I think you should leave." Elsewhere in the Littles' house, Manny is sat in the kitchen, trying to eat a sandwich. He has trouble though, not being able to ignore the shouting going on between Joe and Joanna in the other room. Rochelle and Aliza soon make their way in, the latter going to the refrigerator to get herself a beer. Rochelle, meanwhile, mumbles to herself. "What's dat, Mama?!" Aliza wants to know, hearing her mother. "I was just sayin' to ma'self how I hate this damn street and all duh people on it. White bitch comes into mah house, breaks stuff, fights my butler..." "We didn't have to come back here..." Manny says in retaliation, a point that Aliza agrees with. However, Rochelle turns to her children - well, one in particular. "Bitch you left us no choice," she says, proceeding to wheel herself out of the room. Meanwhile, the front door of the house slams, signifying that Joanna has left. Aliza and Manny turn to one another, one of them feeling more guilt than the other. 'Act III' "You see Josh's Snapchat story?" Ben asks Joe as the two of them sit across from one another at their usual bar. Joe responds negatively, and so Ben shows him an image on his phone, which is pitch black as it's been taken up against Josh's leg, and Joe reads aloud the caption, "'OMG wanna die. Wanna die so bad. As if this night couldn't get any worse. Gonna... K-M-S.' What's KMS?" Joe wonders. "Kill myself," Ben educates, "I only figured it out because Josh used it on his last five snaps getting ready with Selena." He scrolls back to a selfie Josh took with Selena looking her normal hideous self in the background, captioned, "Ready for my hot date ??? Lololol, kms," with a cry-laugh emoji next to a knife emoji next to a hand emoji to signify the cutting of one's wrists. "So," Joe moves on, "what's troubling you right now?" "Hm?" Ben questions, and Joe shrugs, saying, "I don't know, isn't that just what we obligatorily discuss whenever we get together in one of these settings?" "Yeah, but I don't really feel like talking about it right now," Ben admits. "Yeah, me neither," Joe agrees. "Weather's lovely though," Ben comments. "Indeed. For winter," Joe nods. "Yeah, winters up in Scotland were a bitch," Ben comments, and Joe nods again. "You, uh, see any good movies lately?" the detective then inquires. "Not lately, though that new Maria Solano thing looks kinda cool. Might check it out. Oh, and I just saw the new trailer for that live-action version of--" "Guys!" Rena exclaims as he comes bursting into the bar, then stopping to put his hands on his thighs and pant. "Rena?" Ben questions, concerned about his friend's state, and the Portuguese butler then asks, "Do either of you have your laptops with you?" "At the bar where we always bring our laptops?" Joe questions, confused, and Rena snaps, "Don't start. I'm having a day!" "No, sorry, we don't," Ben replies, then, "What's wrong?" "Video," Rena adds, "bad, bad video. Need to make it be gone." "Yeah I saw that tutorial thing the other day," Joe recalls, "you should delete it." "Not that one!" Rena screeches, then panicking, "Need to delete, need to..." And then his phone buzzes. "'Nother Josh snap?" Ben asks as Rena fishes it from his pocket, but Rena reveals that it's a text from Eli; "He's about to review my content... oh dear." "Oh dear indeed," Joe agrees. Taking a deep breath, Rena just responds to Eli with a smiley, then texting Liz with an all-caps panic warning. "It's okay," Liz replies, "I have a plan." At the Davis mansion, Eli is sitting down on the couch to watch Rena's videos on his laptop, which is rested on the coffee table. He clicks on the page for "Renaboss"' channel, and then on videos. However, he doesn't quite catch a glimpse of the newest livestream's thumbnail, for he suddenly grows distracted by the dimmed lights and sound of Marvin Gaye on the stereo. It is at that point that he turns to see his wife, standing in the living room doorway in nothing but a skimpy red negligee. "I bought this today," she says in a low, seductive tone, "What do you think?" "It's... wow," Eli comments, not minding the sight one bit. "So what do you say," she continues, slowly stepping forward, "that we put this away," she closes the laptop and places it behind the couch - a place to be found - before finishing, "and have some fun?" "I," Eli replies when his wife returns from behind the couch, "like the sound of that." And then he grabs her and kisses her passionately, and, as he does this, she makes a discreet gesture with her hand. At this, Rena slowly comes crawling into the room, unnoticed by Eli, who soon turns his wife around and throws her down onto the couch. He continues to make out with her, entering into the early stages of intercourse, while Rena army-crawls his way behind the couch, needing to get his hands on that laptop. "You like that, baby?" Eli asks as he kisses Liz's neck, at which she rolls her eyes and replies, "Sure," allowing him to keep on going. Rena grows a little disgusted by the sounds of them making out and then moaning, so much so that he grows distracted and allows his elbow to knock over a small clock, a candlestick and an ornamental teapot as he makes his way past the mantle behind the couch. "How many damn tchotchkes can you have?" he exclaims via whisper, and Eli stops to ask his wife, "Did you hear something?" "Nope," Liz is quick to state, then placing her hands over her husband's ears as she forcefully pulls his head in for another kiss. Rena uses this time to finally grab the laptop and open it up, going incognito and logging into his YouTube account. From there, he is able to find the video and delete it, which takes a few moments. After exiting the new tab, he is happy to refresh Eli's webpage and see that the livestream that used to be there has now vanished. Purged from the web. And he takes a sigh of relief. Liz takes a different kind of sigh as her husband's head travels downwards, and Rena quickly army-crawls his way back out of the room, hastily rearranging the tchotchkes as he does so. From her position, Liz sees the door move as he goes out of it and then sees him crawling his way around the corner, out of sight and into the kitchen. It is at this point that Eli comes up for air, and suggests, "Why don't we get more comfortable and move this into the bedroom?" "Yeah," Liz replies, "I'm not really in the mood anymore." And with that she gets up, turns off the music and re-brightens the light, leaving the room to Eli's immense disappointment. Liz is next seen in her robe, standing out in the backyard with Rena, who's gone here to cool off after that nerve-wracking experience. "So it's done?" she questions, and Rena assures, "It's done." "Phew," Liz replies, "that was a close one." "What about the people who had a chance to see the video before I deleted it though?" Rena wonders, "Aren't they still a problem?" "Honey, let's not fool ourselves. Your channel ain't that big and I'm not famous enough for people to bother to recognize me on a blurry lens. I think we're good." "Okay," Rena nods, "and Eli still has no idea?" "I can't imagine why he would, no," Liz tells him. We then see the frustrated Eli heading upstairs to talk to Rena. He goes to knock on the butler's bedroom door, only to find that it's open and empty. "Oh," he utters, going to leave, but then he takes a double-take as he notices something lying on the floor. Moving forward, he picks up what looks like... a horsewhip. The one Liz was using on Rena earlier. Staring at it, Eli begins to ponder what it could mean, though he is genuinely stumped. "So what's your sign?" Kevin asks Selena back at The Q+, to which she replies, "Stop." Kevin just laughs at this, while Mark asks Josh about what he's doing on his phone. "Is that Snapchat? You should add me." "And yet I won't," Josh states. Mark laughs too, then asking, "So you guys from around here?" "Are you from around Earth, or have you just never encountered the phrase 'go away' before?" Josh wonders. "You know," Mark goes on, "I have a thing for British accents. Wanna see it?" "Dear Lord," Josh chokes, while Selena puts her fingers in her ears and goes, "La la la," to whatever it is Kevin is saying. He then physically moves her arms and she looks legitimately shaken, at which he states, "You have a lovely voice. You should sing something at the karaoke machine." He gestures over to the small stage set up in the nearby corner of the bar, and, while Selena is about to reply, "You wretched little--", Josh turns around and states, "You know what? That's not a bad idea. Come on, Selena. Why don't we get up there together and... dedicate a song to these two?" Selena looks confused, while Josh assures her that it's safe to come with him; considering he's far less creepy than the two men she'd be sitting with if she doesn't follow him, she decides to tag along over to the karaoke segment, where she asks Josh what he's doing. "Telling those bozos exactly how we feel," he states as he selects a song for the two of them to sing, and Selena, seeing the title, smiles before stepping up onto the stage with her butler. "Wooooo!" Mark and Kevin exclaim, and Josh and Selena shoot them little waves as they grab their microphones. "Here's a clean version of a favorite song of mine," Josh introduces, and then the music to Lily Allen's "F*ck You" starts to play. The people in the bar watching all cheer, while Josh begins to sing, "♪ Look inside. Look inside your tiny mind. Now look a bit harder.♪" Selena then comes in with, "♪ 'Cause we're so uninspired. So sick and tired of all the - hatred you harbor.♪" They begin to make their way off of the stage and approach Mark and Kevin at the bar while singing, with everyone else in attendance still cheering them on as they really start gunning for the chorus. "♪ F you! F you! F you very, very much! 'Cause we hate what you do. And we hate your whole crew. So please don't stay in touch!♪" A few minutes later, the crowd is still going wild while Mark and Kevin just sit there, faces blank, accepting the final lines of, "♪ F you, F you, F you, F you, F you, F you!♪" With the song over, there is a loud cheer, and Josh leans in with his microphone and tells the two pervs at the bar, "I think it's time you two were leaving now." "And remember," Selena adds, "'No means no'." "A-men to that," Josh agrees as Mark and Kevin finally grab their coats and exit The Q+; Selena then turns to Josh and says, "A-womyn," at which he rolls his eyes, but still he smiles at what he and his employer just did together and then they turn around to take a bow and accept the praise of those around them. Outside, with the evening having come to an end, Josh tells Selena, "That was actually a lot of fun." "It was," Selena agrees. "And having to deal with guys like that, I... I guess it probably happens to women more than men, in regular bars." "Regular?! Wait, nevermind. You mean you're saying--?" "That," Josh finds this hard to say, "maybe there is some truth to this whole 'oppression' thing. But only like a tiny fraction, okay? Like a really, itty-bitty--" Selena is ignoring him though, too busy being giddy and jumping for joy, while Josh goes on to ask, "Since I admitted I may have been a tad quick to the punch in my beliefs... is there anything you'd now like to admit about your own argument?" At this, Selena just shrugs and says, "Nah," then hailing a nearby cab and hopping into the backseat, closing the door before Josh can get in. "But I need to get home too!" Josh exclaims, at which Selena rolls the window down to tell him, "Your white privileged ass can find its own way home. Don't you know how hard it is for someone like me to hail a cab?" And with that, she's gone, off down the street, and Josh is left abandoned on the side of the road. "I... am not shocked." Selena's cab can be seen arriving on Fanon Drive, driving right past the Del Barrio mansion where, inside, Ben has just come home. The butler puts his keys down and takes off his coat to hang up; he looks around to see if Ali is anywhere in sight, and he's relieved to see that she isn't, believing her to still be mad at him. He starts to head for the stairs; however, a voice calls out his name. Ben turns around, and sure enough Ali is standing there. "Look, I'm just gonna go up to my room and stay out of your way," he starts, but Ali shakes her head. "No, no, that won't be necessary," she says to him, "I... We need to talk." Ben is listening, and so Ali starts by saying that she's sorry. "Maybe I went too hard on you," Ms. Del Barrio exclaims, "I was upset, and I felt a little betrayed. But it was wrong of me to just dismiss you like that." Ben shakes his head though, stating that it's he who should be apologizing. "But you've apologized enough." "And rightfully so. Look, Ali, I was an idiot. I saw what you were going through, and as you've pointed out, I made it all about myself. I wanted to make myself look better in comparison to Val, and I was jealous. But it was certainly not the time for that." "Ben, it's alright." "I don't know what I was thinking, Ali," he continues, "It's just that these past months... Justine, who I thought was the love of my life, turned out to be a psycho killer; my crazy wife found me and then disappeared basically off the grid." Ali has a sudden realization when the mention of Jennifer comes up, though she decides to keep it to herself for the time being. "Basically I'm just losing all of these parts of myself, and being your confidante is all I have left. I didn't want to lose that to Val." Ali opens up her arms though, motioning for Ben to come in, and the two embrace in a hug. "I'm sorry," he tells her one last time, and she does the same. "And the whole thing with Jennifer," Ben says, starting to go more into that, "I still haven't the slightest of clue as to what happened to her..." This is when Ali finally decides to break away from the hug, and she looks up at the depressed and confused butler. "Right, Ben," she says, "about Jennifer--" But before Ali is able to finish that thought, the ringing of the doorbell is heard. Ben and Ali look at one another, wondering who could possibly be stopping over at this time. The two proceed to make their way over to the door, and Ben opens it up. The two look, absolutely shellshocked. The camera pans around, and standing in the doorway is none other than Jennifer Gold herself. "Benjamin... Goldilocks..." she greets. Ben and Ali remain silent, jaws dropped. Unanswered Questions *What exactly did Matthew learn about Joanna ("Emilie") that Jose wanted to use as blackmail? *Who did Justine inform of her blackmail scheme as insurance? *What didn't the Littles want Josh to find out, relating to the blood-spattered white cloth? *Why was Silvia chasing Lily and why was she dead-set on killing the baby? *What is Silvia's history with Jorgio and why did she kill and frame him? *What exactly is Valentina's endgame plan in warring with Ben? *Why did Val have the reaction she did to seeing Rena? *'Why did Rochelle feel the need to flee back to Wikerly Hills? Which child does she blame?' Trivia *Josh's story with Selena was largely improvised due to most of the original material being used up in the previous episode, as well as the fact that the writers wanted Brad (Dr. Sonya) to miss an episode. Category:Season 2 Episodes